


You can ask me how but only time will tell

by nopex3 (Imsuretheyarentinlove)



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Christmas, Established Relationship, Love Letters, M/M, affectionate newt, lots of syrupy language, mentions of credence and grindlewald, this is very self indulgent, very amorous
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-09-11 02:29:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8950396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imsuretheyarentinlove/pseuds/nopex3
Summary: A letter written to Credence from Newt, sent while Newt is away in London.Inspired by the song All Will Be Well by The Gabe Dixon Band





	1. Everyone can see my love that radiates

_My Dearest Credence,_

_I apologize that I was not able to write sooner, my publisher has kept me plenty busy with revisions. I am having trouble getting the information they are requesting from my field studies. Because of this, it is with great regret that I must inform you I will not be able to see you again until mid January at the very earliest and certainly not before December 25th. While I am painfully aware of the significance of that date, most magical creatures are not and don’t care how badly I would like to be in America right now. Although I’ve begun to suspect that the Thestrals have figured it out and are being purposefully difficult to keep me in London longer. While I hold a great affection for all magical creatures even I can admit that not every one is completely pure of heart. All that aside I will send presents which will hopefully arrive on time despite the snow storm. Jacob, Tina, and Queen will of course be there to celebrate Christmas with you, I hope your first is all that you hoped it would be._

_Pickett, Dougal, and nearly all the mooncalves have been melancholic since we parted ways. So consider all well wishes from both me and them. It is plain to see that they all miss you nearly as much as I do._

_I got your last letter a few days ago and am happy to hear you’ve started making progress in learning magic from Tina and Queenie. Lumos is a very good first spell to master since it’s very useful, especially if one is afraid of the dark and doesn’t have me around to perform it for them. Don’t worry at all about being too slow. I know you are trying your best because you always do, and so the pace you go at is what’s right for you, which is all that really matters. Although, if it makes you feel better, my talks with Dumbledore reminded me of how horrible I was at magic when I was first learning. Took me months to perform Wingardium Leviosa and even then what ever I brought up to the sky rarely came back down._

_On the subject of Auror Percival Graves, the real Percival Graves, I share many of Tina’s concerns about you making contact with him. Maybe it will further confuse your feelings towards Grindlewald to see what you thought was him behaving kindly. I am assuming Mr. Graves will be kind to you, but if he is not, please tell Tina and she will handle the issue immediately, and then I will further deal with the problem when I return. I also feel hesitant given how ~~close~~ ~~personal~~ intimate your relationship your relationship with Grindlewald was. Do you think Mr. Graves’ face will bring back any attraction you had while you were with Grindlewald and he was impersonating Mr. Graves? For the sake of honesty, that thought sparks a considerable amount of jealousy in me. But there is also the fact of closure, any that Graves could supply for you would certainly be worth pursuing. And, perhaps, if you and Graves were to become close he could assist in your magical education. He is certainly a skilled wizard, far more than I you don't get as far as he has without skill. My thoughts on the matter, as well as Tina’s, Queenie’s, and Jacobs’s, are, of course, irrelevant because the decision is yours to make. If you think it will help to see him, then do so. If you think it won’t help, but still want to, then that is what you should do. I am your ~~boyfriend~~ ~~lover~~ partner, and so can only offer my best advice and support you in the end._

_If you decide to share my letter with Tina for the sake of convenience, please do not let her read this next part. It is only because I know you have had similar thoughts towards me that I have gathered the courage to share mine with you. Queenie of course already knows most of what I’m going to tell you, if the mischievous look in her eyes last I saw her was anything to go by._

_When I left for London I knew of course I would miss you. I had no idea I would ache for you, my dear. As I studied Dumbledore’s phoenix today, I turned as if to tell you about their incredible life cycles and realized suddenly that you were, of course, not there. The disappointment I felt was so sharp I thought for a moment I might be ill. I wish to have you by my side and then in my arms. I would press my mouth to yours like I did the day I left and you made that brave confession. I am still so amazed that you were able to do so while I was still frozen by the idea that you might reject me. Perhaps that is why I feel so determined to make up for lost time. I’ve had many opportunities to develop a very distinct fantasy of what I will do once I see you again. At the risk of you thinking me too bold, were you with me now I would take you to my bed and we would lay together. Just you and me with nothing between us as it is surely meant to be. I know you are inexperienced in this regard ~~excluding your time with Grindlewald~~ so there would be absolutely no rush. In my fantasy we have all the time in the world and take advantage of this fact. Above all else I want to make sure you find the experience as comfortable and enjoyable as I do. This desire to be with you is ever present in my mind, like a song I hum whenever I am lost in thought. Along with this fantasy comes the worry that I will never be able to fulfill it. That you will not return my desire or something will come between us that is impossible to avoid. There are many things to frighten me that I know you are aware of via Tina but I will not mention them here for both our sakes._

_Despite all these things, I am not afraid. For me to feel fear over this will do nothing for me and even less for you. I know that in the end we will be together again, once all things have run their course. I know it’s difficult to be satisfied with that since life is not like a book, you can’t ever know when each chapter is truly finished. But, as all everything in this world moves faster and faster, (and) progress is being made all around us, know that one thing will not change. I love you, Credence Barebone, strongly and sincerely. I have fallen for you and I don’t regret it for even a moment. If you keep this in mind until I return to you, I truly believe that all will be well._

_Forever yours, Newt_

_P.S. Please let me know what you think of all my gifts in your next letter._


	2. Illuminating what I know is true

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little dialogue heavy transition between letters, just to give you an idea of where Credence is coming from and to pad this sucker out.

”Is everything okay, Credence?” Tina asked, concern clear in her voice. She’d sat politely quiet for the past few minutes while Credence read Newt’s letter, but curiosity must’ve gotten the best of her.

Credence looked up sharply from Newt’s letter the blush on his face coloring even darker. His palms were suddenly sweaty from nervousness and he wiped them on his pant legs. “Yes everything is fine, absolutely fine.”

Newt’s advice to keep the last part of his letter private was completely unnecessary. Credence felt embarrassed enough at having read the letter in front of everyone, not expecting its contents, he couldn’t even imagine letting anyone else see it. There was heat curling low in his gut that was either shame or arousal, possibly both. He had stopped being surprised by his own desire for Newt long ago, but the fact that the man returned it so strongly, and the way Newt had talked about them being…. together. It was a shock to say the least.

“Well,” Jacob said from the kitchen where he was making something called ‘crayeps’ that credence had never heard of before. “What did Newt say?”

Credence squirmed under the attention of them both, Tina was looking at him expectantly. “H-he said that he- um, wouldn’t be back until January, and h-he agrees mostly with you, Tina, about me meeting Mr. Graves. Also, he sent presents. They should be here by Christmas.”

“Mostly agrees with me, huh?” Tina said with clear satisfaction tinging her voice. “Well it is still up to you, Credence, but maybe now you’ll take me and Newt’s ideas more into consideration.”

Credence nodded with a slight smile. He’d already made his mind about the matter but he didn’t want Tina to think he was making any rash decisions.

“Is that all he said?”

Suddenly Tina was standing from her seat in the Goldstein’s sitting area and walking over to where Credence was seated at the dining table. She tried to lean over his shoulder to catch a look at the letter but Credence held it to his chest protectively and flinched away from her.

“Yes, that’s it. N-nothing else, just what I told you.”

Tina furrowed her brow at him, and Credence wished he could explain but he was panicking at the idea of her reading those things. Proper and professional Tina who was always so put together. She’d know by the look on Credence’s face how much he’d enjoyed what Newt wrote, she’d-

“Tina?” Queenie said, walking in from the kitchen where she’d been helping Jacob, immediately taking the focus off Credence. “Do you think you could run to the shop and pick up some strawberries?”

Her voice was sweet and syrupy as usual. As she walked over to him and Tina, graceful in a way Credence could never be. He thought Queenie was as close to an angel as he’d ever seen. She shot him a slightly shocked but flattered smile before looking back at Tina. Credence knew without a doubt she’d heard that thought.

Tina tipped her head to the side just slightly, looking even more confused than before. But the two sisters shared a look, and something Credence couldn’t quite place dawned on Tina’s face. She nodded her agreement at Queenie before turning back to Credence.

“You want anything from the store, Credence?” She sounded almost like she was trying to make amends, which really wasn’t necessary. It wasn’t her fault Credence was so twisted up inside.

He shook his head, forcing a smile to cover up how anxious he was. Credence forced himself to stop clutching the letter so desperately and, after folding it back up, he set it on the table in front of him. Though he couldn’t take his eyes off the paper, feeling like someone would snatch it up the second he did.

“I’m alright, Tina, thank you.” Credence said, and his voice didn’t sound nearly as strained, thank God.

Tina let out a little sigh, slightly sad but also full of understanding. “Okay, well, I’ll be back in a little bit. When I get back we can talk more about you payin’ Mr. Graves a visit, and I got a new spell book for you to look at.”

After getting some money from Queenie, Tina disapparated and almost immediately Queenie took a seat at the table next to Credence.

“Y’know,” she said propping her head up on her hand as she looked at him. “We’re all adults here, honey, ain’t no reason to be embarrassed. Tina, adores you, we all do. Something like this won’t change a thing.”

Credence responded with an almost pained look, thinking of Newt’s request, and Queenie let out a little giggle.

“Well of course, what you want to be private should be kept that way, if it can be. But still, no reason to work yourself into such a tizzy.”

Credence nodded gratefully, still not saying anything. He liked that about Queenie. She never judged what happened in his head and he never had to say a word if he didn’t want to. She knew exactly what he meant.

But now there was the matter of how to respond to Newt. But how could he? Credence had always been horrible with words. He had no idea what to write that would trigger the same response that Newt’s letter had for him. He didn’t even have any experience with this kind of thing besides… Grindelwald. But he would rather know nothing than use something that man taught him. Credence always thought of sex and being close with another person as something dirty. The memory of that evil man putting his hands on Credence, making him feel tainted, had done nothing to lessen that idea. When he’d kissed Newt before he left for London and told him how he felt, he’d rationalized that was okay because it was only kissing. If he could be satisfied with just that, he wouldn’t ruin him with his dirtiness. But Newt had made the first step towards more, and it had sounded so good the way he described it. Not lecherous and filthy but natural.

_‘Together… as we are surely meant to be.’_

Newt thought they were to be together, like soul mates. It was a beautiful concept, one that Credence had no idea how to return.

“I’ve been around the block a few times, I know how to charm a guy. You want my advice?” Queenie said, once again interrupting Credence’s thoughts.

He nodded his head sharply, “I always do.”

“Newt has already put the idea on the table. He let you know what he wants. All he needs now is for you to let him know you’re- oh what’s the word? Ah, let him know you’re _receptive_ to his ideas.”

Queenie finished with a sweet smile, put her hand over one of Credence’s that was resting on the dining table and rubbed her thumb along his knuckle. It was so nice and soothing, Credence didn’t even have to suppress a flinch at the contact. He managed to return her smile, barely, just a slight upturn of the corners of his mouth. But it was genuine regardless.

“You think Newt and I will work out though? I won’t mess it up?”

This whole thing was nerve wrecking. Credence was never able to be sure of any decision lately. Newt had called him brave for that kiss, and the confession that came with it, but he’d been blinded by something like anger, then. So frustrated that Newt was leaving for London without him, pissed off at the whole damn wizarding community who wouldn’t let him leave America and come with. But mostly he’d been afraid that Newt wouldn’t come back, so Credence did what he could to make sure he would. Now the anger was gone and all that was left was worry and fear that mad him feel frozen with indecision.

Queenie let out a little gasp, like she couldn’t believe what he’d just asked her. A very rare thing for Queenie who was very hard to surprise. “Oh, Creedy, of course you won’t mess it up. Not possible. You and Newt together, that’s a recipe for perfection.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> check me out on tumblr @Crewtcut


	3. I am practicing my purpose once again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Credence writes back to Newt.

_~~My dearest~~   ~~Dear~~ My dearest Newt,_

_I’m sad that you won’t be coming back for so long. I understand, of course, that you ~~have better things to do~~ are very busy. Hopefully the thestrals will start behaving so you can return. Tell all the creatures I miss them too. I can hardly sleep without the mooncalves there, making noise right outside my room._

_Christmas was fun. Queenie and Jacob made a turkey for dinner and for dessert we had strawberry and rhubarb pie. Jacob said the recipe has been in his family for decades, but he says that about all his pastries. Not that I don’t believe him, it just gets repetitive after awhile. ~~Not that I think Jacob is annoying I just~~ Hopefully you understand what I’m trying to say here. You always manage to see through my clumsy words._

_Your presents came on Christmas morning but we didn’t open them until after dinner. Jacob said that it was fine to open them right away but it seemed self indulgent, so I suggested that we wait. I don’t know if this was a mistake but you sent me 12 presents. Based on the ones you sent Tina, Queenie, and Jacob it seems like the average is one to three. Tina insists they're all really for me, but I thought I’d check, just in case. Let me know as soon as possible and I’ll send back all the ones that aren’t for me. If they are all really mine, I’m extremely grateful. I can’t really tell you how much I appreciate all of them, especially the invisibility cloak. Please tell Dougal I said thank you for him donating his fur. I’m writing this letter with the ink and quill set you gave me. It’s a little ~~ridiculous~~ impractical compared to the fountain pens I use, but it’s good to get some insight into wizard culture. All the other things things you gave me, the chess set, the jelly beans, all of it, I very much appreciate but haven’t had a chance to try out yet. I won’t eat the jellybeans in case they were meant for someone else, and everything else I’ll use very gently until you write back so they can still be re-gifted to whomever they were really meant for._

_I saw Mr. Graves yesterday. He and Tina both started working again the day after Christmas, so I thought that would be a good time to visit his office. It was ~~fine~~ awkward. I think Mr. Graves feels guilty for what Grindelwald did as him, or maybe I remind Graves of what was done to him. I can’t be completely sure since we didn’t talk for very long. Tina could tell we were both uncomfortable and cut the whole thing short. She still doesn’t think it’s a good idea for me to see him, but agreed to take me to the MACUSA office again after the new years. I like your idea of Mr. Graves helping me with my magic, but I was too nervous to ask so I’ll have to try again next time I visit. I’ll let you know what he says. It was very strange, since you and Tina both brought it up, I thought for sure I’d be frightened by seeing Graves. I was a little put off at first, but Mr. Graves and Grindelwald couldn’t have treated me more differently if they tried. It was like seeing two books with the same cover but different stories inside. By the way, Graves was perfectly polite, you don’t need to protect me. Besides, Tina was there the whole time, ready to come to my rescue._

_To answer your question, I do find Mr. Graves very attractive, of course. You asked me to never lie to you just to spare your feelings, so I won’t. Graves is handsome, anybody could tell you that, but I see handsome men all the time. You’ll remember I used to spend all day on the street corner handing out pamphlets, so I’ve seen my share of faces, and I didn’t fall in love with hardly any of them. Besides, there’s a million reasons why me and Graves would not work out, and they could all disappear tomorrow but it wouldn’t make a lick of difference since I would still only want you, Newt. I hope that puts any jealousy you have around the matter to rest._

_I tried out Wingardium Leviosa the other day. I floated a small feather into the air and was able to bring it back down after a few tries. I am happy with my progress, hopefully I’ll have a truly impressive spell to show you by the time you come back. Tina loaned me one of her old magic books. Most of the of the things in it were too advanced for me, but I did find one charm that was very interesting: The Patronus. The book said in order to perform the Patronus charm you need to bring to mind a happy memory. Tina told me it could be anything, as long as it brings me joy, although she also made sure I knew that it was a very hard charm and some wizards never do it. I want you to know that, one day when I perform the Patronus, I’ll be thinking of you. I don’t know what the future holds but I know that I love you. I love you and I want you. If you were at all wondering wether or not I returned the desires you expressed in your last letter, the answer is yes, absolutely. You have done amazing things for me. You helped me discover a beautiful world and supported me even while I struggled. Of the days that I have lived, only those spent with you seemed real. So, as soon as you can come back to America, Newton Scamander, know that I am waiting for you, wanting and ready to make more joyful, patronus worthy memories with you._

_Always yours, Credence Barebone_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go two chapters at once because the other one was a few days late. Hope you all enjoyed and let me know what you thought. Constructive criticism is welcome. If these next two are as well revcieved as the first chapter I will write a fourth one of Newt and Credence's reunion ( *cough* smut *cough*). To anyone who noticed, yeah I did steal that line from cowboy bebop.
> 
> anyway check me out on tumblr @Crewtcut

**Author's Note:**

> Future wizard historians will find these letters and call it proof of Newt and Credence's amazing friendship ;)
> 
> So I wrote this really quick and my usual beta reader hasn't seen fantastic beasts so hopefully I did Newt well enough. Please let me know what you think. If this is recieved well I'll write Credence's response and make this into some sort of series. Also Percival may eventually come more into the picture idk we'll see.
> 
> Also if you wanna talk more about Crewt check me out on Tumblr @crewtcut


End file.
